Kindness vs Pushover

Today, I just felt like jotting down my random thoughts on this topic, as most of us have felt it or experienced it at some point. I don’t intend to be philosophical here, but maybe my thoughts could resonate with yours or add to them in some way.

There’s a fine balance between being a good person and being treated as a doormat. Often, we equate kindness with tolerance, thinking that if someone has a stronger personality or is more confident than us, it's okay for them to take us for granted once in a while. But let’s be clear—it’s not okay.

Most of us realize this only after we've been hurt. We replay situations in our minds, questioning why we let it happen, why we didn’t speak up, or why we always seem to be the one adjusting while others don’t even notice. But the good news is that realization itself is a step forward. It means you now have the power to change the pattern.

There are many reasons we let people cross our boundaries like fear of Losing relationships, avoiding conflict or just lack of confidence.

But the truth is, not standing up for yourself does more damage in the long run than any temporary conflict ever could.

Ending relationships isn’t always necessary. You don’t have to cut people off just because they’ve wronged you, especially if they mean something to you. Instead, the key lies in diplomacy and self-respect.

If someone is repeatedly taking advantage of your kindness, observe their behavior without reacting emotionally. Instead of immediately showing that you’re hurt, take a step back. This allows you to plan your response rather than being controlled by emotions.

You don’t always have to make grand declarations when you are upset. Sometimes, it’s enough to just change your responses by being assertive and firm.

Therefore, being firm doesn’t mean being rude. You can say no, disagree, or stand your ground without being harsh. A calm, confident tone works better than an emotional outburst.

And the key point is don’t show that you’re affected. People who take others for granted often feed off reactions. If they sense that their actions have disturbed you, they may continue to take you for granted. Instead, maintain a composed demeanour while subtly ensuring they don’t get the opportunity to repeat their behaviour.

Final Thoughts

Keep being kind, empathetic, and warm—just don’t allow kindness to be mistaken for weakness. The right people will respect your boundaries, and those who don’t? well, they’ll either change or slowly phase out.

"Koi tumhe itna importance de ki tumhe kabhi yeh mehsoos na ho ki tum ek extra ho."Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

("Someone should value you enough that you never feel like an extra in their life.")

So, don’t let anyone treat you like a side character in your own story. Stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and remember—being kind doesn’t mean being a pushover! 😊

 

-Sharon Lasrado 


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